The Circle From Hell

Report on "The Circle from Hell Trip": Friday was one huge nightmare, and why not because that seems to be the normal in my life right now. See previous post, complete with trepid anticipation. We left the Ruffin compound at oh nine hundred nearly two hours later than anticipated. Well of course Mr. Ruffin had to do his "chores". He swears it gets him going in the morning but does nothing but exasperate me. (He empties all the trash cans in the house-however, they're never full because he empties them twice a day; refills the dog's bucket outside -not because there is no water, in fact it's full, but because some dirt may have flown in it overnight; opens all the blinds in the house to horizontal precision; and a million other chores too tedious to mention.) Papaw meet Mamaw.

So we get on the road, and it's raining. And raining. And we're towing the boat down to it's new stall at Lake Sam Rayburn first. And it rains all the way down there. Four inches in five hours, we found out later that day. We get to the new boat stall and no sooner pull in on the green Arkansas rock and gravel driveway than the boat tires and the truck tires sink down a good 3-4 inches. The owner has obviously not packed the driveway enough. So we let Norman, our dog out only to watch him terrify Bambi and his mother as he darts off toward the woods.

After much cursing and kicking tires, we get inventive looking for anything to shovel dirt with and wedge under tires. We take turns gunning the engine and rocking the truck back and forth. No good. Expletive. A nice samaritan drives by and goes to his lakehouse to retrieve a couple of shovels and he and Jim start shoveling. Denny (our saviour)(Thanks! Denny!) and I get behind the boat to push while Jim guns the engine and lo and behold, the truck moves. Little by little, inch by inch. And then Jim stops...why? The tires start to sink again and I'm all DON'T STOP, KEEP GOING!!! DON'T (bad expletive) STOP, DON'T STOP, KEEP GOING! And Jim's all, "I HAVE TO ADJUST MY MIRRORS!" and I'm all DON'T (very bad expletive) STOP, KEEP GOING!!! DON'T STOP! and I notice Denny on the ground doubled over with laughter...and I'm horrified. And I'm like, "26 years! it's the 26 years rule, you only get to yap like dogs at each other after 26 years of marriage AND today is Jim's 60th birthday!" We're thankful that Denny came along or we would probably still be there bickering. Mamaw meet Papaw.

So we're back on our way down to Jasper and eastward to get to Carencro, LA to retrieve the fifth wheel when we both decide to take the scenic route (NEVER a good idea) on U.S. 190 over to Opelousas instead of going 20 miles more south to catch the interstate. WE decided that we were tired of the rat race and wanted to go through the "little towns" where you get to see everything. And to be honest, it was very pretty. Many swamps, many winding roads, lots of old fashioned downtown squares with daily routines going on. And the sun had even come out. We got to Kinder (rhymes with fender) and KCS (Kansas City Southern) had a train blocking U.S. Highway 190 and other roads for miles and miles. Just stopped on the tracks...for 45 effing minutes. And I thought Mansfield, LA was the only place KCS decided to tie up traffic.

When we got to Eunice, LA, we got to experience 5 o'clock traffic at 3 o'clock. This town could not be more than 20,000 in population but because they have synchronized 10 stoplights to turn green at the same time, stay green for 5 seconds and then turn red again, we felt like we were in a child's game of green light, red light. And this town must have 20 schools on U.S. Highway 190 because we hit everyone of them as school let out. Crossing guards that could play linebacker for the Green Bay Packers and stop you with their bodies. School buses blinking their red stopping lights every two seconds because heaven forbid those kids would have to WALK HOME FROM THEIR BUS STOP like I did...ewwww, aren't we a little bitter Susan.

Opelousas is a quaint small town but their roads have not been paved since 1900 so I'm positive we left some tire tread and perhaps some engine parts there.

We got to Carencro and picked up the fifth wheel...uneventful except for the swipe of the American Express card to the tune of $336.00. Happy Birthday Jim! You just got the RV top sealed for your 60th...

We met Clif and had a late lunch at Prejean's. He brought his girlfriend Megan, whom we adore, yet she had the flu. He did not bring Belle, the beagle so Norman had to sit out in the kennel by himself. After lunch, when we let him out of the kennel, he headbutted Jim about five times and barked all the way back to the truck.

We headed back to Mansfield around six o'clock ON INTERSTATE 49. Slap me if I ever ask to take the scenic route again. We got home around 10 o'clock Friday night - more than a 12 hour trip. And by damn, we're going to have fun this next weekend OR ELSE...

Going In Circles

As I was saying (or was I just thinking what I was saying and not really saying it, or did I say it and not write it down and thinking of saying this as a lame form of covering for my absence from my blog?), we're both taking off for somewhat of a trek tomorrow. One of our more tedious adventures, and yes it's going to take awhile, 10+ hours as a matter of fact, according to Streets and Trips...which makes me lightyears behind in technology because everone else has a GPS these days. Witness: our circle-ish triangle for tomorrow.

We retrieved the boat from Clif in Baton Rouge a month ago when we dropped the RV off in Carencro to have warranty work done. In the meantime, we have procured a boat stall at Lake Sam Rayburn for a year. We watched the guy build the boat stalls this summer (it's about a mile or so away from where we camp) and finally approached him as he was finishing them. We got the pick of all the boat stalls (except his of course). So we're headed out tomorrow to take the boat to the boat stall near the lake. The boat is going to be so happy living on fresh concrete and in a new metal building painted green with white trim and surrounded by many people who are proud members of the NRA! Our boat will feel safe, very, very safe.

Then we swing over to Carencro to pick up the RV that has been sitting on the lot at Primeaux RV for a month as they fixed it in their own sweet time. Grrrrr. Read here for that journey. By the way, let me interject that Norman will be traveling with us. Why, you ask? Well I'm glad you asked. Because we can't get out of the neighborhood with the boat without him following us. So, we surrender, he can come, he sleeps all day anyway.

Clif and Belle, his beagle, are going to drive over from Baton Rouge to meet us and we'll go to lunch at Prejean's just north of Lafayette. They have kennels outside for your pets. So, we'll let them share a kennel and Belle will spend the whole time jumping all over Norman and he'll look bored. It'll be fun! Think Jim and I are ready for some grandchildren?

And then we head back home with the RV in tow. And all of this in preparation for our camping trip to Rayburn next weekend for Labor Day. As a matter of fact, I just took a timeout from blogging to upgrade my reservation for the 4th through the 7th to a "pull through" instead of a "back in" (I can't believe one was available-they're ALWAYS booked months in advance-I usually have to get online in November to get a Memorial Day reservation).

We'll have a brand new air conditioner in the RV (they had to replace it - free of charge) and we had them re-seal the top (which was not free of charge) and fix the door lock that I broke last spring when I locked myself out of the RV on a trip that I went ahead of Jim for two days. Truly a total airhead sometimes.

In conclusion, the "circle" trip tomorrow is a total of 498.7 miles. Hell, we could just about cross Texas for that mileage. But then we'd be stuck in El Paso.

Ruffinism for the day: "Who runs in circles never gets far." - Thornton W. Burgess

Thank-You Boo

We're stuck cleaning the yard again this weekend because for the third week in a row the fifth wheel is out of commission. We took it down to Carencro to have the air conditioner fixed BECAUSE IT IS STILL UNDER WARRENTY. And I cannot STAND any woman (under 60 years old) that calls me DEAR, or LOVE, or DARLIN, or HONEY, or SWEETHEART, or any endearing term that sounds CRASS. However, you can call me CHE or BOO and I'll answer to either one. WHY? It truly is an endearing term used by men, women, and especially women under 30 from South Louisiana that is a total salutation of respect...mostly. The young woman we left our trailer with over two weeks ago of which we had to make a reservation three weeks in advance has totally screwed us. We both (Jim and I) had to take a vacation day almost two weeks ago on a Tuesday...


...so we could get our RV there in time for the 12:00 o'clock noon appointment on the following Wednesday to fix the AIR CONDITIONING UNIT that failed and is still under warranty. "Yes, Boo, you can bring it in but we can't have you bring it until Tuesday the 4th because we are so overcrowded. We'll take total care of it boo." And now? Amanda boo dear sweetheart darlin love two weeks later has absolutely no excuse for our RV not being fixed, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SITTING ON THE LOT IN THE SAME PLACE WE LEFT IT IN (US, JIM AND SUSAN LIKE WE WERE TOLD TO DO.) I'm calling the owner in the morning and YES I will call him boo...

In the meantime, enjoy my yard:


Ruffinism for the day: "Great talker, great liar."

Sugar Ray Norman

Well, he did it again. He roams out of our neighborhood into pastureland and other rural roads and he's meeting the enemy. He's never met a person he didn't like but he can take or leave other dogs. He is AS FAST AS LIGHTNING. He's been known to race my truck at 30 mph...but once again he could not outrun hostile insurgents or it could even be one lone terrorist. We've speculated on everything from a coyote to a pack of bad hairdressers. Norman's been to the mat.

He looks like Bill the Cat or even Hooch after his rather expensive trip to the vet.

But he's patched up again and misses all his friends at the vet's office. Next time, I think I'll get a rag and a bottle of peroxide. It's much less than $267.00.

Poor little feller. His head is swollen like he's been in a boxing match. I wonder when he'll learn to just turn around and walk the other way. Or RUN, as you would have it.


He'll probably be watching movies this weekend in the house. Damn dog.

BREAKING NEWS

FIGHT IN THE HOOD! Victim taken to the hospital on Tuesday. In stable condition. Looks like someone is going to be wearing a cone again for 3 weeks. More to come...stay tuned.

Blurbomat Needs to be the Advertisement for Obamahealth

You need to go here to find Mr. Obama's biggest fan. This gentleman wants Obama-care...however, I'm not sure if he wants it for him and his family, or just for us. The same people who will give us Obama-care are currently doing outstanding work in the following fields:

1. U. S. Post Office
2. The Internal Revenue Service
3. The Office of Motor Vehicles
4. The CIA
5. The FBI
6. The Office of Homeland Security
7. The U.S. House of Representatives
8. The U.S. Senate
9. Government Motors (GM)
10.Clunkers for Cash

The list is endless. And now we need them to cover our healthcare? Do you want your medical records in Washington? Do you want Mr. Obama to pick your doctor, to tell you when you DON'T need an operation, to tell you that your time is up?

I urge everyone to go listen to their congressman/senator on this August break and ASK THEM SPECIFICALLY what this GOVERNMENT health care plan will do and not do. I'm on the front row for David Vitter, Mary Landrieu, Sherry Cheek, etc. Join me.

And maybe there will be a few jokes too. I just hate meetings.